Long Distance – Highway or Love Road Kill?

Finding the balance between love and life is not easy. Making sure that personal goals and ambitions are fulfilled while trying to remain on the same path as the one you love takes work and, from someone who has learnt the hard way, sometimes love is just not enough. It is this mission that often lands couples in a long distance relationship. But, do they work?

The short answer, ultimately no. But, as a short-term solution, if there is simply something that one or both of you need to do in your lives that you can’t do together, then it is worth a try, because the alternative doesn’t bare thinking about and in the end, if it doesn’t work, then it probably never would.

We all have friends in relationships where one or both of them seem to be caught up in a bubble.  They seem to have lost the independent side to their personality that we used to admire, their energy or general feeling of empowerment that used to surround them.

In most cases this is a period when both are too scared to actually discuss their individual goals, worried about rocking the boat, hiding from the prospect that if they actually look within and remember what they want – their paths just won’t match.

A phase that ultimately ends with a break up or a turning point when both actually communicate and the relationship gets stronger. But, sadly in some cases the couple stay inside their fragile bubble weakly drifting along for years until it finally pops – when children get caught up in the puddle left behind.

Love songs proclaim being unable to live without them, being completed by the one they love and Bruno Mars would apparently ‘catch a grenade’ for her – a little drastic.

Bringing a literal sense to the term ‘my other half’ that is thrown about as though this is the norm, a view that seems to be encouraged when surely it isn’t healthy. Sure – love him/her, risk your life to save them if it is necessary, but why half? Granted “my other whole” doesn’t have the same ring to it, but what about being two complete people and coming together to make something better? Stronger. A larger entity of love and support powered by the fact that you are both following a path that is ‘true’ for both of you. The kind of relationship that is like gold dust and only comes to those who work at it.

Long distance is hard, without physical contact words become hung upon, a text message gets read ten times on a bad day and that phone call before you go to bed is the closest you will get to a hug for a long time. But, with the right person, the moments when you are together can be like frequent whirlwind romances and as long as you have a plan to come back together it can work.

So if you are considering long distance, as long as you have communication and determination to retain your personal goals balanced with reasonable compromise, you could unlock the door to a happily ever after as two “wholes”.  It might not sound great, but it is certainly worth the wait.

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